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phoenix wright vs santa claus

Chapter 4: prancer

PHENIX VS SANTA

12 AM

PRANCER

"drive drive DRIVE moderfucker" shouted santa

"its ok i think we lost em" said phoenix

"o fuuuuuck, u think they no we did it" said santa

"nah, teyll forget, cause the cops are gumshoes"

"lol"

"ok wheres next to go" said phoenix

"well it says here that the next reindeer to find is prancer" said santa reading the name on dancers back "we shud find him"

"ok but where is he" said phoenix "its too dark to see on this road"

he turned on the lights on the car so he could see through the night but then it started snowing

"woaaaaaaah" shouted phoenix "ITS SNOWING ON CHRISTMAS ITS A MIRACLE"

"ho ho" laughed santa "this happens all the time"

"yeah in cold places" said phoenix "wait a minute FUCK the snows gonna get on my window"

"oh" said santa "datz a problem"

they stopped the car cause it was getting too cold and ice was all over the window so phoenix couldnt see

"well shit" said santa "we cant walk around los angeles, itll take all night, and then all the bois and grils will wake up to no presents except the ones i already did, but they will be murdered by the ones that didnt, good thing i havent given anyone anything yet"

"well we wont find em standing around, lets find em walking around"

so they walked through the forest in the snow and the dark

"its so scary" said phoenix

"yeah, wish we had rudolph here to light the way with his nose"

"hey wait santa" said phoenix "u still got ur sack"

"no it was stolen by the shadow man"

"damn i was gonna ask for a torch"

just then a light appeared cause there was torch in santas hand

"i carry it with me all time, how do u think i sneak into peoples houses and not trip over their shit makin noise"

"o smart" said phoenix taking a spare torch "hey wait who was shadow man"

"he was a guy i saw jump in my slay after i fell out, i think he may have been controlling the reindeers to make them angry with me and fly away"

"wow what a dick" said phoenix

"yeah, who would want to kill christmas like this" said santa

"well theres harry potter" said phoenix "but hes in jail, so it cant be him"

"hmmmmmm" thought santa

after a bit of walking they saw a small house

they went to it and knock on the door

"hmmm they must be sleeping" said phoenix "wat shud we do"

"hmm" thought santa "i think prancer may be in there"

"possible but how we get in"

santa winked and then they were on the roof

"ok how this help" said phoenix and then santa opened the chimley and jumped inside and phoenix followed and landed in fire

"OOOOOOOOW HOTBOHOTJUTOHTOHTOHOTHTOHTOHTOHT"

"wowwww u fucking pussy" said santa who was unhurtable by fire and he blew the fire out on phoenix

"owwww thank u" said phoenix "so anyway whos house is this"

"i do not no, but wat i do no is that hes a good boi for letting us come in, i leave him a present"

so he took out a candy bar from his hat and put it under the cristmas tree but there WASNT a cristmas tree

"he must be poor" said santa and he left it under the bed

"hey wheres the guy" said phoenix

"theres the guy" he pointed to the corner and he saw a guy covered in a blanket asleep

"hey" said pheenix waking him up and he woke up

"who are u"

"im phoenix wright and this is my friend santa claus"

"mmm hmm ok" said guy "wat do u want? money?"

"no no were looking for prancer"

"mmmmm hmmmmm dont no any prancers... nope"

he fell asleep

"ok he doesnt no where prancer is lets leave" said phoenix

"THANK U FOR BEING A GOOD BOI" shouted santa as they went to the door

but it didnt open cause they were SNOOWWWWWWWED IIIIIIIIIN

"fuck" said phoenix "if we dont get out we wont save christmas"

"well phoenix" said santa "i tell u that this is a good bois house, hell help us out"

so they went back but guy was gone

"hoh hoh, hes playing hide and seek" said santa gettin on his legs to find the boi

"weird where did he go" said phoenix "and whyd he look so familiar"

they looked around until they eventually found a button on the chair. they pressed it and did not expect to see the FLOOR open a door in the FLOOR

"wow how didnt we notice this" said phoenix and they both sneaked into the basement. they both went down the stairs and they heard voices in the room. they looked around the corner and saw the guy talking to someone in a magic orb thing and prancer was in a ball of energy next to him

"o ok" said the guy in the orb "so well go find that reindeer"

"yes..." said cloak guy "he should be in the haunted house, noone goes there in december so no one will see u, but if somehow someone does see u itll be suspicious so dont be seen"

"course we wont be seen u fukkin dumbass" said another guy in the orb

"black, the master wants the reindeer, all of em, they give him power"

"yes black" said white who was in the orb "do not worry, we will find the rest of those reindeer for u... harry potter"

"HAARYYY POTTEERRRRRR" screamed phoenix and he grabbed a knife form the table and ran out from cover and attacked harry but harry was ready with knife of his own

"PHOENIX, U HAVENT LEFT YET" shouted harry enraged by this intrusion

"ILL NEVER LEAVE U AS LONG AS U LIVE! wait that sounded gay ANYWAY HOWD U GET OUTTA JAIL"

"heh heh heh" laughed harry and he SWUNG THE KNIFE, HES GOTTEN GOOD! "in my labor prison, i trained, an now im tougher dan even dark me"

"no ur not"

"no im not" said harry "but i can still beat u in fight, and wen i get all the reindeer, theyr power will be light and that always seems to be stronger dan darkness, so then ill be able to beat TEN OF YOU EASILY"

he used magic wand but magic passed phoenix and blew a hole in the wall goin outside (its in a small cliff so thats why the basement goes outside)

"why do reindeers give light power"

"i dont know, but then rudolfs nose is light, and we alredy have him in the castle, but where it is i cannot say"

and then phoenix stabbed harry in the leg

"OWWWWWWW" screamed harry and he lost control of the energy ball with prancer in it "DAMN you, pheenix wright, i will not forgive this!"

he teleported away

wow he can teleport now damn shiiit

"who was that" said santa running in

"that was harry potter, hes an evil wizard who tried to take over this place once and sent law into dark age"

"u tink hes the villin?"

"yeah, but he mentioned a master wile talkin to black and white wich was weird... watever we found prancer"

"yeeees" said santa "lets get outta here"

so then phoenix carried prancer over his head and then he did the end of chapter thing again

TO BE CONTINUED